Through Queer Eyes and Soft Gazes (In Search of My Body's Liberation)
Deep down, I’ve always been aware of my queerness: an otherness about me, a deviation from the norm. We live in a world that’s shaped by societal expectations and heteronormative views: a world that constantly confronts and harms marginalised groups with this otherness. In Through Queer Eyes and Soft Gazes, I artistically explore the painful parts of growing up as a (queer) woman and how I try to free myself from these seemingly inescapable feelings. Captured through photography and poetry, I search for my body’s liberation in intimate moments and soft spaces.
In this work I explore the raw, ugly, and hard parts of growing up as a queer woman, as well as the beautiful magic that queerness and womanhood can bring. How do you look at your body? And how did society influence this view?
the (internalised) homophobia,
it still touches me every day.
though i have slowly accepted my own queerness, more and more -
over the years, the feeling of discomfort still lingers.
it is hidden in small gestures and roaming in large spaces.
it lingers through my body.
i still feel it in spaces, near people
where queerness is not yet fully accepted
i feel it when i watch the news,
i feel it in my veins
i feel it like i feel a bruise
that never really goes away.
An important part of this project was to show the softness that is queer intimacy. For this part, my partner and I aimed to capture our most intimate and soft moments together. In the final installation I aimed to recreate a similar space as the one in which we share our most intimate moments, so that the viewer can look at the photographs in a similar space as where they were taken.
This part of the project has therefore been a collaboration with my partner, Claire Mariman, who is a visual artist herself, too. For more of her beautiful work and contact, visit her instagram or website.
in your house
in your arms
my body feels
she is allowed to take up space.
‘cause when you look at me,
you do it with the most feminine and queer gaze
in the most loving and accepting way.
Final Installation during The Now Show
Welcome to our bedroom, feel free to take a seat (at my desk, on my bed, on the floor. wherever you'd like.) Enjoy my space. I hope you feel safe.